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When, I was at university I became good friends with a fellow law student by the name of Martin. He possessed a quirky personality which was coupled with a cuttingly sarcastic wit. His world view tended towards heavy cynicism about everything and everyone, although his approach to certain subjects (such as his unrequited passion for a young lady in our residence halls called Julie) occasionally betrayed a softer side. We had an intense relationship which had its basis in a shared love of heated intellectual debate, and on one occasion we were having a discussion about the nature and longevity of personal relationships. I was pondering how many years we would know one another for, and proffered the somewhat romantic view that university was a source of lifelong friendships. I was shocked (and not a little upset) by his response which was that once we left the hallowed halls of learning and went our separate ways, we would never see each other again and have no further contact. When I protested he informed me in his most sanguine tone that I was naïve, and issued the following decree. "It's pointless that people to cling to one another in the name of friendship. Everybody changes over time and people are much better off if they enjoy friendships in the moment, and then just let them go."
At the time I was unconvinced by his words, but we debated the matter no further and sure enough, although the conversation took place more than thirty five years ago, in the last last thirty three of them, I have not seen nor had a single communication with Martin. Yet his words have stuck with me and in hindsight, I have come to realise that his assertions about relationships were wholly accurate. However, I doubt that his reasoning has much in common with why I now wholly accept his argument.
The 'cog' model of our relationships which is explained in 'A Piece of Heaven'
alludes to our progression upon our respective ascension pathways as a series of encounters which have the potential to propel us forward, but may also steal our impetus, or even be retrograde in their effect upon us. As such, the relationships we will have in a lifetime create a minefield for us which we must traverse with care, guided by our discernment. Whilst concepts like being a 'good and loyal' friend, and 'being there' for somebody have some merit, we can all too quickly develop an almost imperceptible and tacit acceptance that all relationships create an onus of commitment upon us, and seek to maintain them when there is little purpose or benefit to be derived from further association with someone. They simply become entanglements from which we would be best served to extricate ourselves. If this sounds in any way mercenary or heartless to you, consider the etheric's take on the matter:
It is the nature of our lives that they will involve numerous interactions. Yet only a limited number of these are of any great significance. The majority of our connections may be thought of as only short-term or transient, or even incidental. Any relationship connection allows for the creation of an etheric pathway or cord into our being. This may be helpful, nurturing and supportive. Or energy may flow from, or be drained from us. The challenge for us is to recognise which relationships are of value to us on our pathway, because if we make the assumption that they all are, we carry with us energetic connections that merely serve to drain us, or have the effect of acting as 'dragging anchors' on our progression. A great deal of learning (most particularly for old souls) revolves around the need to release or let go of that which should not be a cause for concern; and that also includes people!
My experience as a channel is that most people are spectacularly poor at letting go of relationships. Even when faced with direct guidance from the (not really) winged ones, which they have requested because they know something's not right with the relationship, they have a hard time relinquishing that which only serves to encumber them. Perhaps they fear being friendless. Perhaps they believe that hanging on to somebody who you once, but no longer really have anything in common with, is the 'right thing to do'. It's not, most particularly for old souls.
Matters are not made any easier by the fact that we find ourselves in a society where, particularly amongst our youth, there is an increasing emphasis upon collecting associations as an aspirational activity, almost as if they were trophies. Our apparently growing fixation with social media may take much of the blame for this and it can even appear that people compete for how many 'friends' they have. We would all do well to be mindful of the traps this kind of mindset can create and the unseen burdens it imposes upon us. Up until a few short years ago, we could expect to proceed through life limited in our connections to those upon whom we were prepared to expend the cost of a postage stamp and a Christmas card. Now we can find ourselves with hundreds of links to weigh upon us in ways that we may not perceive of physically, but they are nonetheless real and present. Yet I have noted many individuals, including our daughter, who have an extraordinary number of 'friend' connections (which one may assume they believe are in some way beneficial) all of which have the potential to impact negatively upon their being. I have challenged our daughter about this, and asked how many of her 'friends' she really knows and is really friends with. The question seems discomforting and her answer deliberately vague. But from what I can make out, the reality of the thousand plus comes down to a couple of dozen. I believe this is probably typical.
What began as the province and folly of a younger generation now finds itself a new audience in more senior generations. The social media usage demographic has significantly migrated up the age scale. Here I must confess that I have been as guilty as anyone else in my use of it. When I first had a personal Facebook page, I accepted (and occasionally sought) connections with those with whom I had the most tenuous of connections. Many were from my school days, or ex work colleagues. Others were people who'd read my books and felt they knew me. All too soon I had three hundred and sixty four 'friends' whose crises, dramas, woes and complaints seemed to flash up on my computer screen with an unhealthily regularity. Seeing something interesting, uplifting, thought provoking or relevant to my life was not the norm. Even reading something that reassured me that I shared any common ground with my multitude of apparent friends was a comparative rarity. I was simply having my consciousness invaded with matters of no consequence or interest. And then it dawned on me. What on earth was I doing attached to these people when my experience of our connection, far from being nurturing, was quite simply enervating? I was struck by the realization that I didn't really know at least half of the people I was linked to; and of those that I did, if I were honest, historically I hadn't really liked or been friends with most of them in the 'real' world. I understand and accept that we were just ships that had passed in the night. So why would I go into reverse now? Why would I seek to be connected to them in the cyber world? I had been quite successful at cutting cords and moving on from real life connections. It was time to do the same on the Net.
As I write this, I have a paltry twenty four friends on Facebook. In one night of surprisingly uplifting release, a long time ago now, I unfriended just close to three hundred people; the others followed shortly thereafter. The funny thing is, I don't think anyone ever noticed. Amidst their seas of casually or barely known acquaintances, I didn't feature as anyone significant enough to be missed. What does that tell me about the true nature of these 'friendships?' I still accept new friends with insubstantial claims to association simply to be polite. And then I unfriend them after a week. And sure enough, nobody ever seems be aware of the disconnection. Except for me that is. I am left, as in real life, linked to those whom my discernment tells me there is real purpose and value with. And I am blissfully unencumbered by a series of ties that are little more than disingenuous parodies of true friendships that merely serve to weigh me down on my pathway. I don't feel bad about saying that. It's the way it should be.
Exercising discernment over real relationships can be enough of a challenge in anyone's lifetime. If the added complication of an inundation of cyber ones seems harmless enough, think again. Connections too lightly and unthinkingly made are something we should be very cautious about. I know this because an archangel told me so.
At the time I was unconvinced by his words, but we debated the matter no further and sure enough, although the conversation took place more than thirty five years ago, in the last last thirty three of them, I have not seen nor had a single communication with Martin. Yet his words have stuck with me and in hindsight, I have come to realise that his assertions about relationships were wholly accurate. However, I doubt that his reasoning has much in common with why I now wholly accept his argument.
The 'cog' model of our relationships which is explained in 'A Piece of Heaven'
alludes to our progression upon our respective ascension pathways as a series of encounters which have the potential to propel us forward, but may also steal our impetus, or even be retrograde in their effect upon us. As such, the relationships we will have in a lifetime create a minefield for us which we must traverse with care, guided by our discernment. Whilst concepts like being a 'good and loyal' friend, and 'being there' for somebody have some merit, we can all too quickly develop an almost imperceptible and tacit acceptance that all relationships create an onus of commitment upon us, and seek to maintain them when there is little purpose or benefit to be derived from further association with someone. They simply become entanglements from which we would be best served to extricate ourselves. If this sounds in any way mercenary or heartless to you, consider the etheric's take on the matter:
It is the nature of our lives that they will involve numerous interactions. Yet only a limited number of these are of any great significance. The majority of our connections may be thought of as only short-term or transient, or even incidental. Any relationship connection allows for the creation of an etheric pathway or cord into our being. This may be helpful, nurturing and supportive. Or energy may flow from, or be drained from us. The challenge for us is to recognise which relationships are of value to us on our pathway, because if we make the assumption that they all are, we carry with us energetic connections that merely serve to drain us, or have the effect of acting as 'dragging anchors' on our progression. A great deal of learning (most particularly for old souls) revolves around the need to release or let go of that which should not be a cause for concern; and that also includes people!
My experience as a channel is that most people are spectacularly poor at letting go of relationships. Even when faced with direct guidance from the (not really) winged ones, which they have requested because they know something's not right with the relationship, they have a hard time relinquishing that which only serves to encumber them. Perhaps they fear being friendless. Perhaps they believe that hanging on to somebody who you once, but no longer really have anything in common with, is the 'right thing to do'. It's not, most particularly for old souls.
Matters are not made any easier by the fact that we find ourselves in a society where, particularly amongst our youth, there is an increasing emphasis upon collecting associations as an aspirational activity, almost as if they were trophies. Our apparently growing fixation with social media may take much of the blame for this and it can even appear that people compete for how many 'friends' they have. We would all do well to be mindful of the traps this kind of mindset can create and the unseen burdens it imposes upon us. Up until a few short years ago, we could expect to proceed through life limited in our connections to those upon whom we were prepared to expend the cost of a postage stamp and a Christmas card. Now we can find ourselves with hundreds of links to weigh upon us in ways that we may not perceive of physically, but they are nonetheless real and present. Yet I have noted many individuals, including our daughter, who have an extraordinary number of 'friend' connections (which one may assume they believe are in some way beneficial) all of which have the potential to impact negatively upon their being. I have challenged our daughter about this, and asked how many of her 'friends' she really knows and is really friends with. The question seems discomforting and her answer deliberately vague. But from what I can make out, the reality of the thousand plus comes down to a couple of dozen. I believe this is probably typical.
What began as the province and folly of a younger generation now finds itself a new audience in more senior generations. The social media usage demographic has significantly migrated up the age scale. Here I must confess that I have been as guilty as anyone else in my use of it. When I first had a personal Facebook page, I accepted (and occasionally sought) connections with those with whom I had the most tenuous of connections. Many were from my school days, or ex work colleagues. Others were people who'd read my books and felt they knew me. All too soon I had three hundred and sixty four 'friends' whose crises, dramas, woes and complaints seemed to flash up on my computer screen with an unhealthily regularity. Seeing something interesting, uplifting, thought provoking or relevant to my life was not the norm. Even reading something that reassured me that I shared any common ground with my multitude of apparent friends was a comparative rarity. I was simply having my consciousness invaded with matters of no consequence or interest. And then it dawned on me. What on earth was I doing attached to these people when my experience of our connection, far from being nurturing, was quite simply enervating? I was struck by the realization that I didn't really know at least half of the people I was linked to; and of those that I did, if I were honest, historically I hadn't really liked or been friends with most of them in the 'real' world. I understand and accept that we were just ships that had passed in the night. So why would I go into reverse now? Why would I seek to be connected to them in the cyber world? I had been quite successful at cutting cords and moving on from real life connections. It was time to do the same on the Net.
As I write this, I have a paltry twenty four friends on Facebook. In one night of surprisingly uplifting release, a long time ago now, I unfriended just close to three hundred people; the others followed shortly thereafter. The funny thing is, I don't think anyone ever noticed. Amidst their seas of casually or barely known acquaintances, I didn't feature as anyone significant enough to be missed. What does that tell me about the true nature of these 'friendships?' I still accept new friends with insubstantial claims to association simply to be polite. And then I unfriend them after a week. And sure enough, nobody ever seems be aware of the disconnection. Except for me that is. I am left, as in real life, linked to those whom my discernment tells me there is real purpose and value with. And I am blissfully unencumbered by a series of ties that are little more than disingenuous parodies of true friendships that merely serve to weigh me down on my pathway. I don't feel bad about saying that. It's the way it should be.
Exercising discernment over real relationships can be enough of a challenge in anyone's lifetime. If the added complication of an inundation of cyber ones seems harmless enough, think again. Connections too lightly and unthinkingly made are something we should be very cautious about. I know this because an archangel told me so.